


A Christmas Bliss (Only the Moon knows)

by Ama_moon



Category: Stray Kids
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, New Year, So fluffy I almost died writing it, bangchan best human, cheesy asf, really really soft, so fucking soft, soft, stray kids best boys, the cutest human beings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ama_moon/pseuds/Ama_moon
Summary: A very short and fluffy story where you and Bangchan have been dating for a few months and you experience the first Christmas holidays with him and the boys.It’s all fun and laughter until things get emotional and you find yourself bare, vulnerable and completely left open to the person you trust the most.
Relationships: BangChan/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

You were currently at the dorm, trying to prepare everything and make it look as perfect as you could for when the boys finally came home. 

Today was the 24th of december, Christmas Eve in other words, but that obviously did not mean day off for the 8 hardworking idols. Even if you tried, you wouldn’t be able to get them out of the dance practice room and it would even be harder to detach your boyfriend Chan from his beloved studio and computer. So you let them do their thing, you got used to it after a while and you honestly couldn’t even complain when they’d come home after a long day and you’d see their proud smiles telling you how much progress they made and how excited they were to show that new killer choreography to Stays. 

You had your own small appartment, you and Chan deciding it was better that way rather than staying with them at the dorms. You didn’t oppose to the idea, thinking of the chaos it would be to live with 8 boys who have had their own little routine for so long. They’re a family, the 8 or them, and you couldn’t just pop out of nowhere and change their whole lives. Plus, you needed your privacy. As much as you loved them, you really couldn’t picture yourself being with them 24/7.  
It wasn’t a big decision, you and Chan both thought it’d be probably too overwhelming for your relationship and you moved to a small appartment not far from the company and their dorms. 

So here you are, decorating the whole dorm and cooking a delicious meal for them. You even went out of your way to find a decent christmas tree because the one they bought a few days prior didn’t deserve to be called a christmas tree. They barely hang any ornement in the living room but you honestly couldn’t blame them. They were in the middle of preparing their next comeback and they had so much work to do, the last thing they needed was to care for such mundane things. But, you knew they were still sad about it. They wouldn’t even be able to spend the holidays with their families and you knew that this affected them a lot. You heard Jeongin whine to Changbin about how excited he was for christmas but how sad he was that it would just be an ordinary day. That’s when you decided you couldn’t leave it like that. Even more so when you saw how Chan was acting. He obviously tried to cover it up with his dimpled smile but you knew better. He felt guilty. 

He created this team, this family and he feels responsible for everything when it comes to them. He’s extremely protective but being a leader AND the producer of the group, it’s hard to have the time to make sure everyone is satisfied. And you loved those boys. You’ve known them for 5 months now but they feel like family, they bring you comfort and happiness. You wouldn’t even have thought about moving to Korea if you didn’t know they’d be here with you. They knew you’d be with them tonight, but you honestly weren’t even sure they would remember it was because it was christmas eve. So you thought it was your duty as the big sister to step in and do something about it. You knew Chan would be grateful and that the members would be at least a little bit happy. That’s honestly all they deserved. 

You were in the middle of admiring your christmas tree when your phone rang. You checked the ID and immediately started smiling. God you were so whipped.

"Hello there" you said all cheerful

"Hi you" you could hear his tired voice and it made your heart ache.

"mmmh you don’t sound like good news"

"yeah i know.. the boys just finished practice, they’re packing up their stuff and they’ll be home in like 15 minutes” 

“they?” 

“...”

“babe” 

“I’m so sorry I know you wanted us to hang out all together tonight but I have this thing i’m working on and I just can’t seem to get it right and it’s so frustrating because I know I can do better but my brain won’t cooperate and-“

“Hey hey babe please stop.. I was just asking.. I know you have work and I know that if you come home right now your mind won’t be at peace. I’m not mad.. okay? You just better let me hear that song of yours before everyone else"

You tried to reassure him and lighten up the mood a little bit. That definitely worked because you heard a little chuckle coming from the phone.

“Of course, you’ll be the first to hear it, I promise”

That made your heart a little lighter, because you could clearly hear him smile: mission accomplished. 

“Okay then I think I can forgive you. Don’t come home too late though I do wanna see you before I go to bed.. OR if my dumb ass is already asleep please wake me up, let me know you’re home" 

"Will do ma’am!"

He used that soldier kind of tone he always has when you ask something, pretending as if you were bossing him around. He knew you didn’t like that. 

"Hey!" 

He heard you pout through the phone and that made his fond smile grow bigger.

"You know I love you right?" 

You felt your heart squeeze because he said that in some kind of worried tone. Of course you knew he loved you, but he thought you wouldn’t because he spends so much time working. You hated when he felt self-conscious about this, he had so many things to worry about, you didn’t want to be the cause of yet another burden. Not when he was the most loving person you had ever met.

"Mmmh yeah I don’t know... Maybe you can tell me again tonight when you’re home and I’m in your arms ?"

You heard him breathe out a laugh again. He probably now understood that you didn’t want to fall asleep without seeing him first. Good. 

"Okay.. Yeah okay sure let’s do that”

“Chan hyung?” 

You heard Jisung’s voice on the other side of the phone and smiled to yourself. You don’t see the others as often as you see Chan and you started to miss his round cheeks. 

You heard him answer in Korean but couldn’t really decipher what he said. You’ve been in Korea for about three months now and you took lessons regularly but it was still a difficult language to learn.  
After a few seconds you heard Chan talk to you again. 

"Y/n, I’m gonna have to hang up now okay?”

“Of course no problem, see you later”

And you both hung up. 

After waiting 15 minutes, still no signs of them so you just went in the room where you hid the presents you had bought for the boys. You were really excited about this year’s christmas because after the great (and expensive) gifts they had given you for your birthday, you made sure it wouldn’t happen again.  
Yes, they were idols and weren’t exactly poor but kpop idols’ financial situation wasn’t a subject you talked about with them and a part of you knew they didn’t earn as much money as they should considering their hard work. But you never brushed the subject. There are still so many things you don’t know about Korean culture and you didn’t want to come off as offensive. Plus, a small part of you was still scared that the boys thought you were in it for the money, and would use your relationship with a celebrity to get expensive stuff. You knew the boys knew you better, but that’s how your brain worked so you didn’t bother ask.  
So for this christmas, you had the idea of making it themed! 

"What about something more personal?" you had said.  
"Let’s do something creative and one of a kind! But if you guys don’t have time for that I also totally understand so do as you can as long as it’s not too expensive.. or you can buy nothing too! I’m fine with nothing!" but you knew they wouldn’t listen. 

You heard some noise coming from the corridor. You quickly ran towards the front door to see their reaction upon seeing the newly decorated dorm. 

Felix was the first to enter. He was talking to Changbin who was walking behind him and he looked back in front of him once he saw Changbin’s surprised face.  
You had turned off the lights and put on fairy lights a bit everywhere in the dorm, and you could see the glittering lights of the christmas tree reflect on his delicate freckles. 

He slightly opened his mouth but almost fell when the boys behind him started to push to enter the dorm.  
One by one, they made their way into the living room, eyes filled with wonder and excitement.  
Seungmin and Jeongin started jumping up and down, full of happiness, the christmas spirit filling their heads.  
The others quickly joined, Hyunjin starting to sing carols to entertain the others before Minho interrupted him saying he was singing out of tune and then proceeding on singing even louder and more out of tune, and they were soon all singing out loud with ridiculous voices.  
Your smile almost faded when you saw that Chan was indeed not with them and the door closed, but it was quickly back when you heard the screeches from your friends. 

They were all looking at you with bright eyes and giant smiles, hurrying to hug you and say how well you decorated the dorms. Seeing their tired but happy faces made your heart melt and you almost felt like crying. They go through so much and they work so hard to give the best of them everyday. But in the end they’re just kids, just like you, and they deserve those kinds of blissful moments. Surprisingly, no one forgot that it was indeed christmas eve and they all looked forward to spending the evening with you. You all started to head towards the sofa and plopped on it, all tired after their heavy schedule. Felix was the first to sit next to you, snuggling closer and burying his head in your shoulder. Jisung was next, resting his head on your laps while putting his legs on Minho who started whining about it but quickly accepted the affection. Changbin sat on the comfy chair, Hyunjin next to Minho and Seungmin and Jeongin on the floor. 

“Noona guess what?” 

You knew the youngest wanted to tell you something ever since he came in because of the smile he tried so hard to keep in.

“You nailed the move you were struggling with ? I knew you’d do it i’m proud of you"  
you said, patting his head.

“well.. yeah i did, Minho hyung helped me but it’s not about that” 

“Then i really don’t know innie you’re gonna have to tell me”

He looked at you with his malicious stare, making you think he had gotten something he wanted.

"Our manager gave us a day off tomorrow!!"

You genuinely gasped and could feel Felix smiling and squeezing you tighter.

"Oh my god guys i’m so happy we’re gonna get to spend christmas all together i’m so so so happy!! did Chan talk to your manager?"

that’s when hyunjin said:

"well no.. Chan hyung has been really busy with his project so the thought didn’t really cross his mind. We sent Seungmin and Jeongin to beg a little"

"We didn’t have to beg much though, I think they had already planned on letting us breathe just this day. Jeongin didn’t even have to bring the sad puppy eyes!"

That’s when Jeongin started doing his famous pouty face and you all started chuckling. It hadn’t been 15 minutes since they had arrived and you were looking at the others laughing when the door opened again. 

Chan entered the room with a small smile, probably tired but happy to be home.  
His smile dropped when he saw all of you snuggled on the small couch and his face distorted when he noticed the decorations and the christmas tree.  
His bag dropped on the floor and you could see a small hint of panick in his eyes. You wanted to say something but he went straight to his room, plunging the room into an uncomfortable silence.

You all looked at each other, clear pain written on all your faces thinking about what could have possibly made him like that. 

"I think I should probably go and see him"

You said with a heavy heart, not exactly knowing what kind of situation you were in.  
The others nodded, probably relieved you volunteered but also full of uncertainties, not knowing what was happening.

You got up and walked towards Chan’s room. You knocked on it lightly but didn’t expect any answer. You then opened the door every so slightly to see your boyfriend, sitting on the side of his bed, head buried in his hands. 

"hey.. it’s me" you said while caressing his back.  
He wasn’t moving or answering, not even looking at you. After a minute or so, you decided it was better to directly ask.

"Babe you’re not even looking at me.. What happened ? Did I do something wrong? I didn’t mean to make you upset"

“Wrong? You’re asking me if you did something wrong ?" he said, raising his head and looking in front of him.  
"I did”

“What do you mean?"

"How could i forget it was christmas eve?” 

And there it was.. You knew at least one of them would forget, and it was actually no surprise that it was Bangchan. 

"I’ve been working on this project and it took all my time and thoughts because I want it to be perfect and.. I can’t believe I forgot something like that."

"Hey no, stop being so hard on yourself. Yes it’s true you’ve been working hard but that’s your job remember? Not only your job but it’s your passion, no one’s gonna be mad at you because you forgot"

"I know no one’s gonna be mad at me and that’s the thing. Yes i’m their producer, yes i’m the leader of the band but i’m also their hyung y/n. I’m the oldest of the family and the oldest is supposed to take care of the others. When I came in I could see all their excited and childish smiles i haven’t seen in so long.. They’re kids y/n and I tend to forget that sometimes. They deserve to have a hyung who will make them happy like that.."

"But that’s the thing Chan you do take care of them, you take care of them in your own way. You don’t understand how much burden you take upon yourself so that they wouldn’t have to worry about it. Well they know. They know and they’re so thankful for that. So yeah maybe you don’t have time to bake christmas cookies and make them hot chocolate but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad hyung. They’re so lucky to have you as the eldest and they fully acknowledge that."

"And what about you huh?"

"Me?"

"All the decorations, the beautiful tree and what I could smell from the kitchen.. You did all those efforts because I couldn’t.. You shouldn’t have to do that because i’m incapable of making them happy. It must’ve taken you so much time I-"

"Okay i’m gonna stop you right there sir. I didn’t do it because "you couldn’t". I did it because I love christmas and I wanted to make you guys happy, all of you and that includes you. You work so hard, I just wanted to brighten up your mood and I knew you all wouldn’t he able to prepare something for tonight. So I did it. Because I did have time but most especially because I wanted to. And what if I did it because you didn’t have the time to huh? Babe i’m literally here, right next to you. Please lean on me, let me help you. It won’t make you any less of a hyung or any less of a boyfriend. You’re amazing, Stays call you their hero, but you’re not a superhero either. You can’t be everywhere at once. You’re gonna have to learn to trust others and let them do things for you. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, because I know you do, a bit too much. That’s probably why you’re here in this room, feeling burdened and guilty instead of being with your brothers eating the exquisite kimchi I made." 

That got a faint laugh out of him. 

"oh YOU made kimchi?" he said in a sarcastic tone. By doing so he finally looked at you and you could see his eyes, a bit more wet than they should, tear drops heavy on his delicate lashes. He always tried not to cry but he was also so sensitive.  
You then took his face with your hands and made him look at you even more.

“Listen to me. I love you, they love you, and no one blames you for forgetting about such a small thing. The important thing is that you’re here, with us, and that tomorrow we’ll get to spend the whole day all together"

"Well you’re probably gonna have to talk to our manager before" he laughed 

"Jeongin and Seungmin did, you’re all free"

He smiled but you didn’t miss the faint glimpse of guilt in his eyes.

“No no no i know what you’re thinking. Yes , like you said they’re kids. But they’re also big boys and they can take care of themselves. They wanted a day off, so they asked for one. They can’t always rely on you for every little things.. Please believe me when I say that." 

He leaned his forehead against yours and released a heavy sigh, probably one he’s been holding on ever since he walked into the apartment.

"What would I do without you and your comforting words?"

"You’re the one saying this?"

You both chuckled and he hugged you.

"I love you"

You thought about what you had told him on the phone earlier and couldn’t escape the fond smile to form. 

"I love you too"

The rest of the evening went by in a flash. You all put the dishes on the coffee table and ate all together. Some of the boys insisted on changing into their Christmas pyjamas to “get in the mood” which made you laugh hysterically when Changbin pulled out his reindeer onesie. Trying to act all tough, for you he was the cutest one out of all of them. Chan was lighter too, he insisted on apologizing to the boys for forgetting about tonight but they quickly told him they didn’t blame him and that he’s their favorite hyung anyway.  
That certainly helped him ease his mind and he spent the whole evening comfortably, holding you in his arms.

Home. That was the only word capable of describing how you felt at that moment. First of all, Chan’s big arms were engulfing you and feeling the vibration of his chest when he laughed made you all warm and fuzzy inside. What made you even softer was looking around you and seeing 7 other incredible boys, laughing so loudly (especially jisung and hyunjin), so exhausted but not wanting to go to sleep, not wanting this night to end. 

The heaviness of their eyelids eventually took over and you all decided to go and sleep after hearing one more funny story from Felix’s previous Christmases in Australia. 

Minho, who usually shares his room with Chan, chose to sleep with Changbin that night, not trusting you.  
Chan and you went to bed, swiftly going under the covers and snuggling close to each other. You loved the way Chan always played with your hair at times like these and he loved the way you played with his hand, intertwining it with your own. 

You felt him a bit tense and you knew why. Even after what you told him earlier, you knew he still felt guilty that you had prepared all of that and he probably wanted to say something. He didn’t though, and instead sighed of contentment. You fell asleep short after you felt his heartbeat getting steadier and his breathing more even. 

You woke up the next morning, that familiar warmth surrounding you. You looked up at Chan who was already looking at you. 

“Morning angel"

“Good morning handsome"

You stretched a little and looked back at him.

"No but for real though how do you look so good after waking up? Is it an Aussie thing?"

“Babe have you ever seen Felix after he wakes up?"

You snorted loudly and answered.

“Yeah he’s good looking but THAT wasn’t the best sight. Must be a you thing then”

He shied away from you but you quickly took his face and kissed him softly. His lips were dry but always so soft. 

"Merry Christmas babe"

"Merry Christmas angel” 

You smiled contentedly and melted into his kiss and his embrace.  
After a few minutes, you put your head back on his chest and sighed, taking it all in. It was Christmas and you were cuddling in bed with the greatest thing that had ever happened to you. Life wasn’t perfect, but for now it felt like it was and you couldn’t ask for more. 

As if on cue, you heard a loud noise in the  
kitchen, followed by not-so-quiet laughs and whisper-yelling. 

You both looked at each other and smiled softly, wondering what the boys must be up to. You decided to get into comfy clothes (which literally translated to Chan lending you his comfiest hoodie and sweatpants) and stepped out of the room. 

All of the boys were up, and excitedly making breakfast while Jisung was sitting in front of the christmas tree, salivating in front of all the gifts Chan and Felix apparently put earlier this morning. You didn’t hear him sneak out and smiled softly at the thought of the two Aussies delicately installing the gifts under the tree. You knew they didn’t put yours because they had no idea you had some in the first place.

You went back into the room to get the gifts and put them under the tree, getting an even wider smile from Jisung and excited looks from the boys. You greeted everyone and wished them a merry Christmas, earning soft glances from your boyfriend who watched you quietly from the stole. 

You ate the breakfast Felix made with so much care it even broke your heart to eat it. He had made all kinds of plates with different patterns and little drawings, making it so heartbreaking to cut through and destroy. But you all ate it really well, tasting as good as it looks and really quickly because some of the boys were way too excited to open their gifts to patiently wait. 

You all gathered around the tree and the youngest started handing out the gifts. Even if Chan had forgotten about D-Day, he hadn’t forgotten to get all the members a gift and you put this thought into a corner of your head if he ever doubted himself again. Too excited to watch the others open their gifts and seeing the happiness in their eyes, you didn’t even register that Chan hadn’t gotten you anything. You obviously felt a little tiny bit of disappointment but it was washed away when you looked at him, eyes filled with adoration while watching his beloved members opening theirs. You realized you actually didn’t care. You had him, and that was all that mattered to you, you even told him so when he asked you what you wanted for Christmas. You smiled softly, thinking about how lucky you were to be surrounded by such beautiful souls and tears almost escaped your eyes. Chan looked at you from the sofa in front of where you were, a concerned look in his eyes. You just smiled at him, nodded and mouthed “I’m happy” which made him smile as well. 

This Christmas was the best you ever had and you mentally thanked yourself for suggesting that self-made gifts idea, truly genius.  
Jisung bought a random bucket hat and customized it and it was just so HIM it looked like HIM and you absolutely loved it, promising him you’d wear it everyday.  
Minho, obviously the most inventive one, actually took the time to KNIT you a scarf.  
To be perfectly honest, you were kinda scared of the result because well it was Minho. The scarf looked about what you had expected, not very straight and full of colors which didn’t really match, but you thought about how long it must’ve taken him to do it and it made it the most precious item you ever possessed.  
When you think about what Changbin gifted you, your weren’t exactly surprised: this man was a king when it came to phonecases. He had customized a stray kids phonecase with something that defined each member, leaving space for your photocards and you immediately put it on your phone.  
Jeongin and Seungmin teamed up and went out of their way, with a little help from hyunjin, to find you a vintage jacket in a thrift store. They knew you loved that kind of stuff and you couldn’t help but jump around with your jacket because you loved it so much.  
Hyunjin, very hyunjin thing to do, made you an artsy thing thanks to the polaroids he took of the members. You loved polaroids and even more since hyunjin took them himself.  
And last but not least, Felix offered you an earring. No not a pair of earrings but a single dangling earring with a moon on it. You were confused as to why there was only one of them when he looked sideways and you noticed a similar earring but with a sun on it. You absolutely ADORED the idea and hugged him and thanked him for it. 

It was the best Christmas you had ever had. Laughing all day long and lazily cuddling each other while sharing stories and secrets.  
You went back home the day after, heart full of love and bliss.


	2. A Christmas Bliss (Only the Moon Knows)

It was a week later, a few hours before new year and you were back in the dorms. You weren’t doing much this time, the boys agreeing to do something chill and order food to eat in front of a movie while waiting for the countdown. 

You were laying on the sofa, waiting for them to finish practice and listening to music. This particular moment gave you time to think. A new year was about to start and you thought about all those great things 2020 brought to you: moving to a new country, sharing your life with 8 men who owned your heart and soul and finding the love of your life. 

You thought about it again and again, thinking it was maybe a bit too early to say things like that, but you could honestly NOT find other words to describe what that man had become to you. He took over your life and changed it for the better, making you feel things you’d never felt before, discover things about the world, others and even yourself. The more you thought about it, the most certain you were that you would never find anyone like him in your life, that’s how special he was.

You were cut off in your own thoughts when the door opened and the guys got home. They all went to take a well deserved shower and you decided on ordering pizza for tonight. 

You were all arguing about which movie to choose and while you, lix and seungmin said harry potter, the others complained how you had watched it not too long ago already. You ended up settling on Fantastic Beasts and you all sat in the living room. Chan was a bit tensed tonight, but you knew their comeback was around the corner and he was probably really nervous about that so you didn’t question it and hugged him tight to let him know you were there for me.  
It most likely worked because you could feel his muscles relax and his arms holding you closer. 

It was around the beginning of the 2nd movie that Hyunjin noticed it was almost time, jumping excitedly on the couch.

Jisung pulled out his phone to check the official countdown. 

“Oh my god 20 more seconds"

"C’mon lix it’s not that big of a deal”

“Hyung you say that as if you weren’t talking about it with minho hyung earlier!"

"You tell’em minnie" 

That was Chan, who was looking around with his big soft eyes and fond smile. 

“10!”

“Are we really counting down?”

“9!”

“Shut up Minho hyung let us enjoy”

“8”

“I can’t believe this it’s like i’m with kids”

“7”

“Well we kinda are”

“6! 5! 4!”

“Ugh there we go”

Minho and Changbin ended up joining the fun and counted the last three digits with the rest.

“3!”

“2!” 

“1!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

They all screamed and threw confettis around the apartment while you looked back at your boyfriend to tease him. 

“No new year’s kiss?” 

“You’re so needy”

“M’not.. it’s tradition!”

“Come here” he eventually said, having a hard time capturing his lips with yours because you were both giggling too much.  
The kiss was short but soft and full, oh so full, of promises. 

After a couple of minutes, you heard Chan exhale a loud sigh. He got up and held his hand out.

“What is it? Going somewhere?” you said jokingly.

“Yeah, follow me”

He took your hand and dragged you towards the front doors.  
You were caught of guard by this sudden reaction but followed him, not noticing the knowing stares the 7 boys behind you were giving each other. 

You were still extremely confused when Chan wrapped you in a big sweater, the jacket the boys got you the week before as well as the scarf and literally dragged you outside. 

You got in the car, asking him what the hell he was doing with your stare and finally decided on trusting him. You felt even more relaxed when you saw where you were heading: Han River. 

You loved this place with a passion, always finding it comforting and calm for some reason, so you weren’t surprised your boyfriend would take you there to start off the new year the best way possible.  
While you walked along the river, hands intertwined, Chan’s nervousness seemed to disappear little by little, making you even more comfortable. You felt safe, near your favorite place with your favorite person. That precise moment made it seem like it was all gonna be okay, you’d be fine and that you’d go through every hardships together, hand in hand. 

You arrived near your favorite part of the walk: a little barrier separating the path from the river, where you’d usually lean on to admire the water and its waves. It was exceptionally quiet tonight. People were out celebrating and you could hear their cheers all around you but it felt like where you were was protected by a dome. The noises were there but faint, there wasn’t anyone else there but you, the trees out of cherry blossoms with their naked branches and the man you loved the most. 

You both leaned on the barrier and sighed contentedly, your hands still tied to each other.. Silence never felt as comfortable as when you were with him. You thought words were useless when your hearts and souls were already connected the way yours were. You broke that silence first and looked at him.

"Thank you for taking me here, i couldn’t imagine a better way to start the year. Peace, nature and you, everything i need"

He squeezed your hand a bit more, making you understand he felt the same. 

You fell back into a comfortable silence and admired the view. 

A few minutes later, you felt Chan move next to you and pulled out his phone. You didn’t pay much attention because you thought one of the boys might have texted him. 

Your mind was about to focus back on the light moves of the river and the muffled sounds of the city when you heard the soft sound of a guitar. You liked the melody although you had never heard it before and thought that background music was the last small thing you needed to make it even more perfect.  
You closed your eyes, feeling the music and the fresh midnight air of Seoul. 

You look so wonderful in your dress. I love your hair like that. 

Your head spinned around when the lyrics started and looked at Chan, who was now looking at you intently. You couldn’t mistaken that voice, you knew it way too well. That voice which drifted you to sleep so many nights before, eased your soul and healed your deepest wounds. 

The way it falls on the side of your neck. Down your shoulders and back.

You looked at your boyfriend, all confused, which was probably funny because you heard him chuckle the cutest laugh. He put his phone of the border of the barrier and held both of your hands.

We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk to much.

You kept looking at him but couldn’t utter a word, you didn’t want to miss a single word, a single chord. 

You’ve got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us. 

You were about to say something when Chan started singing along to his song.

Should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it’s enough for me. Cos all that you are is all that i’ll ever need.  
I’m so in love 

When the second verse of the song started, he took you in his arms and spinned you around, singing along and smiling like an idiot. You continued the song while slow-dancing, both of your hearts beating out of your chests.  
Finally the last chorus came in.

Should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it’s enough for me. Cos all that you are is all that i’ll ever need.  
I’m so in love.

He ended that sentence by taking your face ever so slightly in his warm hands and kissing you like you’d never been kissed before, whispering the rest of the "so in love" lyrics against your lips. 

That moment, you thought to yourself, was possibly the happiest moment of your life. The love, the complete adoration you felt at that exact moment, you thought could never be equaled.  
The way he looked at you, how his eyes translated every single words he could never truly deliver with how much they shined. The smile on his lips, not so big but so truly happy. The way he delicately held your face, like he was afraid he’d break you if he made the smallest mistake, or like you were the most valuable thing he’d ever seen. And finally the kiss, not the hard and hungry kind you had before, it was so simple yet so full of meaning. It knocked the breath out of you, took it away and wouldn’t give it back, like it was holding all the stars in the world and it sparked like it never did before. A true bliss. It was an overwhelming explosion of feelings and you could honestly not hold back the tears that escaped your eyes. You were looking at each other before you finally regained your senses. 

“wow” was all you could say, no words could explain the way you felt that exact moment. 

“wow?" he chuckled 

The tears were still staining your cheeks without you realizing when you felt his thumbs wiping them away. 

“i hope they’re happy tears”

You were both still so close to each other and you were whispering, not wanting to tear apart that bubble you created in the last few minutes. 

“They are.. God Chan of course they are. I’m sorry I just don’t know what to say I’m speechless or more like I want to say so many things but I feel like I can’t express it properly” you started ranting, getting out of breath. 

He looked at you intently, waiting for you to finish what you had to say. 

“It’s beautiful, so beautiful, sublime, the most wonderful thing i’ve ever heard and i’m not saying this because you wrote it for me but it truly is.. everything! the guitar, the melody, the lyrics god the lyrics Chan.. It’s so simple and yet so full of emotions I don’t think i’ll ever get tired or hearing it.”

“Well Merry Christmas angel”

You looked at him, you eyes full of questions, before realization hits you.

“Yes yes exactly. That’s why you didn’t have anything for Christmas, I couldn’t finish it i thought it was mediocre and I wanted to give you the best song possible but it was so hard. That’s also the project I’ve been working on all those days and why I came home a little later on Christmas Eve."

Your eyes softened when he finished talking. You didn’t feel like you deserved all this energy and emotions poured out into one song made just for you. But you were so thankful, so immensely thankful to have him in your life and to be able to call him yours. You were about to tell him that when he continued talking. 

“So yeah, that’s your Christmas gift but i still did feel bad about giving it to you late” 

Of course he would, you thought. 

“And these days I’ve been thinking. About my life, who’s in it and where I want it to go. I know you’ve been feeling stressed about that these past few months, so I guess you’re aware we’re probably Dispatch’s new year scandal right?”

You nodded, implying he could continue talking. 

“Tomorrow, everything will be different, you’re also aware of that and we talked about it all those months ago before you moved here. I’m holding on to the words you told me that day before jumping on that flight right ?”

“Of course, I’m never letting you go"

"And I don’t want you to. Y/n it wasn’t easy huh? To get where we are right now. And I’m so thankful, I feel blessed that you kept that promise and that you stayed with me until now"

“And i’m not leaving anytime soon"

He put his head down for a second, probably holding back the tears. 

"Like I said, starting from tomorrow we will be officially official, people will know who you are and your life won’t be the same. And there are gonna be more articles about me, more rumors, to try and break you. I know you trust me and once again I’m so thankful.”

“But?”

“But like i also said, I’ve been thinking about my life lately and where I want it to go. I’m still lost for a lot of things but one thing is sure. I want you in my life, that I know for sure. That, I don’t doubt one second, and you deserve to know how certain I am about this because you’re taking so many risks for me."

At that, he pulled out a little box from his jacket and your eyes grew wide. You heart started beating faster and you were filled with concern and questions.  
As if reading your mind, he quickly laughed and said.

“I’m not gonna ask you to marry me babe" 

You relaxed a bit at that but the questions didn’t leave your brain, especially when he opened the box and pulled out a ring. It wasn’t a fancy ring, something really Chan actually, black and matte, very you too in the end. 

“That, is a promise ring. I want you to have it. I want you to have it so that when you see it, you’re constantly reminded that I promise to take care of you and be there for you as long as you’ll have me”

Your eyes started to shine with tears again after every words he uttered. 

“I know this means a big deal. But I’m so sure of me y/n, I’m so sure I want you in my life for the longest time. You complete me, you bring out the best side of me, you’re my other half and as cheesy as it sounds, I’m convinced you are my soulmate. The kind of person that I was destined to meet. Your soul, connected to mine, that’s what it feels like. Everytime I look at you. And it’s not just us, but the way you handled the Christmas situation y/n.. I wanted to cry so bad that night but when I saw how natural it felt, all 8 of us squished on that couch, like the pieces of a puzzle. It just fit you know? You fit. We fit. I’m so thankful to have someone like you everyday to love and support me even if I feel like I don’t deserve it. This feels right y/n, so fucking right that’s why I feel like this can’t be wrong? How could it be ? I’m so sure of myself, so sure of us.. That’s why I want this. I know it’s gonna be hard but we can get through this right? I trust us. Do you?”

He said his last sentence in a whisper, almost as if he was scared to ask, scared of the answer. 

"Are you really asking me? Of course, of fucking course give me that damn ring”

You both laughed, but you felt how relieved Chan looked, and you were happy about that and thought you would never let him doubt your love for him ever again. 

He took out the ring of the box and put it on your finger, thank god fitting perfectly, with his kind of shaky hands. 

"I love it” 

“You do?”

“Obviously, it’s gorgeous, it’s so us you know? 

“What I thought when I bought it”

You looked at it with a fond smile and when you raised you head you found Chan looking at you just as fondly. He circled his arms around your waist and said.

“So this is it. You can’t back down. You’re stuck with me now.”

“How lucky can one woman be” 

“I should be saying this”

“I guess we’re one lucky couple” 

“I guess we are” 

You were just saying sweet nothings while looking at each other with the brightest happiest smiles on your face. 

Of course, you thought about Dispatch, the medias, the rumors.. You were more worried about Stays, very protective of their boys and if they were even gonna like you. They matter so much to Chan, you hoped things would go well. You both agreed on going live tomorrow to clear things up and make things official with them. 

As you brain was running wild with all of these thoughts, your heart was beating thousands of miles an hour because you were in the arms of the one person you loved the most, a ring on your finger, promising this was for the long run and that he’d be with you through thick and thin. And you trusted him, you trusted your relationship. 

Upon realization that all of this was real, was yours to treasure, you put your arms behind his neck and kissed him, pouring everything you wanted to tell him into that kiss, hoping he would understand. You think he did, because he kissed you back with as much strength, his hold on you tightening. 

You kissed for a few minutes, holding onto each other like one of you might disappear at any moment. Still on the side of Han River, as if no one else existed in this world and it was just the two of you, the cheers from the world still echoing around you. The only witness there being the glistening moonlight and the soft fall of snowflakes wrapping the both of you in the warmest most comforting embrace.


End file.
